A hug from my husband that feels "real". Not one where I get groped, and not an automatic one that I get when he comes home in the evening. Sad as it may sound, I don't think I've ever gotten a hug from him like the kind I described of wanting. I know he loves me but I want to "feel" it.
This really is a tough question. There are so many things which I can think of which really might fall under the category of feeling appreciated. But appreciation and love are not the same things, or are they?
Thinking of your hug Chris, there was a late night recently where my sweetie was 'playing' on the computer while I read in bed. Sleep overtook me and I closed the book and my eyes, even leaving the lights on. Later my sweetie came to bed and hoped to talk but I was out cold. He curled up behind me and held me in a big spoonhug. I became barely aware of his words, "I love you my sweet Lisa." And basked in his hug for the time until I fell back asleep.
In the morning, he mentioned that I was asleep when he had come to bed and that he had wanted to talk with me but that I only grunted alittle. He did not mention holding me or telling me that he loved me.
As much as I love sex, sex doesn't make me feel loved in that love doesn't have to be part of the equation. Genuine affection, physically and in word certainly does. Gestures of thoughtfulness and awareness of who I am and what I am. Unconditionality helps. Oh, and kiss my ear and I'm yours forever.
Knowing that I loved or at least accepted "unconditionally" of who I am. I feel one of the two from my love ones as well as from those who I see daily.
Dirk---hahahahahaha You slay me. I can think of so many things I feel so loved knowing there are so many to pick from. "...somewhere in my youth orrrr childhood there must have been a moment of good." BEING ALIVE! I've been saved from death so many times.
Only last evening, we were sorting out our new pc with the guy that came around to see us. I found it technically challenging even though I knew what I was doing really.
By the time he left, I was ready to burst into tears after the pressure, the mounting fatigue, the sheer emotion. You know what? (Sorry to those who crave this, I did live 30 years without in my previous marriage so I know how you feel). My husband just held me tight and quietly debriefed the whole session and explained (again) how he understands what is happening to me and that NO I did not make a fool of myself at all. And he (again) promises that if I had begun to say daft things, he would have intervened and steered me away.
Feeling respected and understood. A nice soft kiss is good too. I also feel loved when I'm being listened too. I like good conversation and being asked questions about how I'm doing and what's on my mind, etc. makes me feel important.
I also feel loved when someone trusts me with their deep feelings and thoughts. I also feel so honored and yes, loved. I cherish that trust and am proud that I don't blabber those personal things all around.
Oh yeah and I also like conversation about things that I enjoy. As well as being asked questions that relate to a field where I am especially familiar/smart with.
Miss Chris, Blinders, and Merelyme: I am so blessed to have Rob in my life. However, the long series of events which had to occur before our paths crossed is truly astonishing. Without some serious pain and depression in my life, corresponding professional help, I would never have been brave enough to put myself out there for dates.
I met through a dating service and it turns out that I'm really his first serious relationship. He has such a strong support system dating back to friends from elementary school even. It's a long story... but our first date was 1 week before the doctor's visit where I mentioned some odd sensations in my hand and arm. After waiting, then 2 rounds of MRIs, spinal tap, blah, blah, I did the 5-day solumedrol 3 months after we met and was diagnosed 2 months after that. Rob was by my side in a very new relationship and didn't get scared or retreat.
Today we met together with my financial planner and discussed near future plans. In a way, if we had wed quickly just so that I could get his insurance coverage, I would never had learned so much about financial aspects of healthcare and would have not started blogging. So I have Rob to thank (indirectly) for my learning experiences which hopefully can help others somehow.
Sometimes, you got to know that events in life occur for each individual for a greater purpose. At least that's how I see it, and that makes me feel loved as well.
24 comments:
A hug from my husband that feels "real". Not one where I get groped, and not an automatic one that I get when he comes home in the evening. Sad as it may sound, I don't think I've ever gotten a hug from him like the kind I described of wanting. I know he loves me but I want to "feel" it.
i hear ya miss chris. a big soulful all for you hug that you can feel.
This really is a tough question. There are so many things which I can think of which really might fall under the category of feeling appreciated. But appreciation and love are not the same things, or are they?
Thinking of your hug Chris, there was a late night recently where my sweetie was 'playing' on the computer while I read in bed. Sleep overtook me and I closed the book and my eyes, even leaving the lights on. Later my sweetie came to bed and hoped to talk but I was out cold. He curled up behind me and held me in a big spoonhug. I became barely aware of his words, "I love you my sweet Lisa." And basked in his hug for the time until I fell back asleep.
In the morning, he mentioned that I was asleep when he had come to bed and that he had wanted to talk with me but that I only grunted alittle. He did not mention holding me or telling me that he loved me.
That made me feel truly loved.
knowing that i'm cherished..
not coddled, or put on a pedestal..
but cherished..
all things genuine :D
Good listeners, supportive friends and definitely a super hug.
jenji
Being in nature...hearing a river roar...warm sun on my face. Perhaps a different "kind" of feeling loved by something much bigger than myself.
Linda D. in Seattle
Lisa Emrich: That's exactly what I'm looking for...Sounds like you have a really special guy.
As much as I love sex, sex doesn't make me feel loved in that love doesn't have to be part of the equation.
Genuine affection, physically and in word certainly does. Gestures of thoughtfulness and awareness of who I am and what I am.
Unconditionality helps.
Oh, and kiss my ear and I'm yours forever.
Being accepted... no questions asked!
When I'm crying for no reason and my hubby just sits next to me and holds me. Then he gets the ice cream and a spoon.
My brother's respect.
The Mrs giving me a kiss on the cheek in the morning when she lets me sleep in.
Too many to mention.
:-)
Used condoms on the floor...
Nothing says I've been loved better.
Knowing that I loved or at least accepted "unconditionally" of who I am. I feel one of the two from my love ones as well as from those who I see daily.
I cuddle from my husband, certainly! But a nuzzle from my horses or a kiss from the dogs is great too!
Dirk---hahahahahaha You slay me.
I can think of so many things I feel so loved knowing there are so many to pick from. "...somewhere in my youth orrrr childhood there must have been a moment of good."
BEING ALIVE! I've been saved from death so many times.
Only last evening, we were sorting out our new pc with the guy that came around to see us. I found it technically challenging even though I knew what I was doing really.
By the time he left, I was ready to burst into tears after the pressure, the mounting fatigue, the sheer emotion. You know what? (Sorry to those who crave this, I did live 30 years without in my previous marriage so I know how you feel). My husband just held me tight and quietly debriefed the whole session and explained (again) how he understands what is happening to me and that NO I did not make a fool of myself at all. And he (again) promises that if I had begun to say daft things, he would have intervened and steered me away.
That makes me feel so loved.
We have been married for 38 years have kids and grand kids. My bride can sense my every mood and she gives me space when I need it.
Feeling respected and understood. A nice soft kiss is good too. I also feel loved when I'm being listened too. I like good conversation and being asked questions about how I'm doing and what's on my mind, etc. makes me feel important.
I also feel loved when someone trusts me with their deep feelings and thoughts. I also feel so honored and yes, loved. I cherish that trust and am proud that I don't blabber those personal things all around.
Oh yeah and I also like conversation about things that I enjoy. As well as being asked questions that relate to a field where I am especially familiar/smart with.
Lisa,
I have one those special men too, I didn't know LOVE existed like that until he came into my life.
The love I feel from my children and my husband is my world.
Miss Chris, Blinders, and Merelyme:
I am so blessed to have Rob in my life. However, the long series of events which had to occur before our paths crossed is truly astonishing. Without some serious pain and depression in my life, corresponding professional help, I would never have been brave enough to put myself out there for dates.
I met through a dating service and it turns out that I'm really his first serious relationship. He has such a strong support system dating back to friends from elementary school even. It's a long story... but our first date was 1 week before the doctor's visit where I mentioned some odd sensations in my hand and arm. After waiting, then 2 rounds of MRIs, spinal tap, blah, blah, I did the 5-day solumedrol 3 months after we met and was diagnosed 2 months after that. Rob was by my side in a very new relationship and didn't get scared or retreat.
Today we met together with my financial planner and discussed near future plans. In a way, if we had wed quickly just so that I could get his insurance coverage, I would never had learned so much about financial aspects of healthcare and would have not started blogging. So I have Rob to thank (indirectly) for my learning experiences which hopefully can help others somehow.
Sometimes, you got to know that events in life occur for each individual for a greater purpose. At least that's how I see it, and that makes me feel loved as well.
I feel loved when I am acknowledged for who I am, be it by being written to or just spoken to...
D. XXX
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