when i write here...i am writing to myself. especially when i am like this. i am just trying to process and sort things out. i am trying to heal and do better.
i write to myself...i write to myself...i write to myself...i write to myself...
this is me writing to myself...to the void in me...the black hole....to the me who is disspearing...
this is depression up close and personal.
and yes i'll get over it. yes i got a hold of my bootstraps. yes i will be a responsible citizen.
perhaps tomorrow.
Come sit a spell and shoot the breeze. Sweeten the day with a little synchronicity...
15 comments:
You know we care MM - we're here - same email addy as ever when you can. Love xxxx
Today, I told my doctor about my depression, she increased the dosage. Hang in there and come back when you are ready.
Hugs, Jim
merelyme, while you have ahold of your bootstraps, how can you walk?
When you are conscious of the black hole and find yourself hanging on to your bootstraps, it's a sign of the beginning of the climb back to the top.
Good for you! It's gonna get better soon.
I go where you are Merelyme at times and from reading your blog I know you are a strong woman. Remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take your time during this voyage and listen to your heart.
I like to leave you with one of my favorite poems:
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
We all want to make things better in our lives,
but lots of times we just don't know
where or when to begin.
Sometimes we are troubled about
something deep inside,
and we are afraid of dealing
with our problems because
we've been hurt before,
and we remember what hurts can bring.
Making things better involves changing
but change isn't such a terrible thing.
Life isn't always easy.
No one ever promised that it would be.
But it can be wonderful at times,
and it is up to us to make those times happen.
Where? Beginning within,
When? With the dawn of each new day.
How? Listen to your heart . . .
and it really will show you the way.
~Collin McCarty
When you are writing to yourself - here; when you are trying to sort things out - here; trying to heal and do better - here; writing to the void in you...the black hole... the you seeming to disappear - here.. or parts really are disapearing to return in a new way; when you are depressed up close and personal - here; - you are being a responsible and recognized member and inhabitant of our hearts today.
I hope your tomorrow's way is easier.
no doubt the last few days have been very trying for you... you are wise to know it does get better, if only a bit at a time....
Good thing is you acknowledge it and you know it and you even bother to come tell us about it.
That to me is a very good thing.
(a reference to an earlier post...)Will and Grace has gotten me through some darkness too. Just sitting in bed with tea, me and the Foursome on W & G.
(now back to this post...)
Not to diminish your drive to feel better, I would offer that it is your journey that is useful to others, that is responsible. You being you, however that manifests, is you doing your job. Just reading the words you write makes me realize I am not alone in my dips onto the seeming abyss, and that is comforting, whether or not I can do anything with that awareness.
So, here's to brighter days, and a selfish thanks for sharing your darker ones.
Thinking about you and hope that you feel better soon.
(((HUGS)))
Hi :)
I want to let you know that for me, prozac works great and I have no experience in side affects expert mentioned. However, there is one side-effect that I am pleased with is that it helps my libido. In fact, I last longer with prosac than without. Medications I take for MS and others causes me to lose my sexual desires, especially when it comes to depression.
I hear wonders about prosac from fellow MSers. In fact, I might post a question asking people with MS what kind of depression medication they are taking and which ones have been working for them. I noticed that there are different kinds of depressions and I think people with MS are in common when experiencing depression.
I hope this helps. Hugs
yes please do jim...i am VERY interested. lisa had also written about different drugs. i wish i could save all this somewhere. i guess i need a separate post about it.
so prozac doesn't make you feel out of it or super hyper? those are the things i had heard as side effects.
i had the same results as jim while on prozac... virtual 'sex machine' at the time! ;) lol
of course, side effects vary by person, same as in all things....
Hi Merelyme... No, it does not make me hyper in any way however it made me feel good by being myself again. I am happy with this medication.
Hugs, Jim
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