What's Wrong With This Picture?

I am in the mood to talk about something light and fun tonight....

I was recently looking at a Psychology Today article which talked about how the average sexual encounter lasts from between 3-10 minutes.

And in April of this year, an Associated Press article on the MSNBC site stated that: "A survey of sex therapists concluded the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes."

But then I read from several different sources including California sexologists William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian, (who reported that they monitored over 20,000 female orgasms) that it takes an average of twenty minutes for women to reach orgasm.

So you do the math.

I also read that on average it takes a man on average 2-5 minutes to reach orgasm.

No wonder the Pointer Sisters extolled the virtues of having a man with a slow hand:

"I got a man with a slow hand
I got a lover with an easy touch
I've found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I've found somebody who will understand
I've found a lover with a slow hand"

Thoughts? :>)

The post I have been wanting to write...

I had brought up the topic of sex in connection with Multiple Sclerosis, many posts back, and I think some were a bit shy about discussing this. I can totally understand why. It is hard enough talking about sex but when you start talking about it with relation to a disease which causes such great impairments...well...it can be a little awkward. :>)

But since I am one to push the envelope, I would like to talk about this again.

Sex is part of being human. It is like eating or breathing. It is a natural and most pleasurable aspect of life. I would no sooner want to give it up than I would to stop breathing (Not to worry about me...I am being taken care of. :>)). But, sadly, sometimes that is just what happens when you have a disease like MS. Some people give up on having sexual relations all together. Actually it is not an uncommon thing to give up on, even within the general population. Depression, other health issues, lack of interest and so on, can impair desire.

I can't speak for men but I can say some things from a woman's point of view. My MS is new for me and I am not impaired at all in a sexual way. But I do know from personal accounts that MS symptoms like fatigue, numbness, and nerve damage can greatly hinder sexual enjoyment for women.

There is a fabulous book out about MS and it is for women and it is called: Women Living with Multiple Sclerosis by Judith Lynn Nichols. It is a great book for the simple reason that it takes posts written by a group of women from an on-line MS support group, and provides some very candid and genuine discussion about what it is like to be a woman and have MS. What is especially unique about this book is that they devote a whole chapter to discussing sex in very down to earth language. A dry clinical approach to talking about sex....this is not.
For example, one of the ladies talk about something which can be very beneficial in the bedroom: "Another milestone came after eighteen years when we introduced a vibrator into our lives. That was a major breakthrough in that it greatly reduced the amount of foreplay, which translated to less assault on my nervous system."

My response would be..."Honey what took you so long?" :>)

Which leads me to answer your question of why there is a rabbit on this post. I was gonna post a picture of the real thing (The Rabbit Vibrator) but I thought that might get me in trouble with folk thinking I am selling sex toys. I'm not! I am just talking about one.

The Rabbit as it is known, was made very popular by the show, Sex in the City, during one episode (episode number nine of season one) where the sweet and demure character of Charlotte becomes addicted to hers. And if you are a woman who has tried one, I dare say you could soon understand why.

Here is some of the Sex in the City script from that episode:

“Carrie: I'm not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device.

Miranda: You haven't met 'The Rabbit.

'Samantha: Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called 'The Horse.'”

Talk of The Rabbit even found its way into an article on forbes.com entitled, America's Most Lustful Cities by Rebecca Ruiz:

"Indeed, Americans' sex lives are thriving in private, but also in ever-present images on TV, billboards, the Internet, song lyrics and in the movies. A prime example: The turning point for the sex toy industry, says Anne Semans, marketing director for the adult retail company Babeland, was the 1998 episode of "Sex and the City" in which the normally demure Charlotte became obsessed with a vibrator called the Rabbit. Sales of the device skyrocketed.

The added endorsement of sex toys from celebrities like Eva Longoria, who has discussed her purchases publicly, emboldened more women and couples to be open about their sexual practices and preferences.

"For years, the people who bought our sex toys were women trying to learn how to orgasm or masturbate, and they did it in private," says Semans. "In the last [few] years, it was a noticeable change that women were buying and using sex toys with their partners. It's reached a level of acceptance it hadn't before."

Of course it is great to have a partner who fully accepts the idea and doesn't mind bringing such an element into the bedroom. None of my male readers would mind their mate utilizing such a device... would you?

The Rabbit was even made more famous when a man in England tried to rob a bank by placing a plastic bag over his girlfriend's toy and waving it around like a weapon. I am sure there are many good jokes to be had with this story....I am just not clever enough at the moment to conjure one.

In additon to trying out a little battery powered support, the book about women and MS also discusses the importance of foreplay. Women need much more time, typically, than men to get their motors running. Slooowww down and get to know your body better and what feels good and what doesn't. It doesn't have to be a race to the finish and sometimes it doesn't even matter if there is a definite conclusion. Intimacy means a whole lot more than achieving orgasm. Holding, touching, caressing, and massages are all wonderful too.

What is the biggest sex organ of the body? The correct answer is the brain. Remember that all sensuality begins with the thoughts and perceptions in our head.

And this concludes my train of thought for this Friday evening. See...this wasn't so bad was it? I am confident we can talk about...just about anything. :>)


Have a great evening and weekend y'all....

So ummm...

Anybody wanna talk about sex? :>)

I thought a change in topic might be nice.