i need to talk. i mean write. talk/write. think aloud. to no-one. to someone. the proverbial message in a bottle.
this whole thing is silly really. blogging. when you think about it. these public proclamations of momentary thought and emotion. a diary. like i am thirteen again.
well...i suppose all of writing is silly then. poetry. essays. autobiographies. why do it? why would one expose themselves in such a public way? sometimes i am like a wave wanting to rush out to shore...kiss the feet of strangers...rise up to welcome the world into my waters. and then there are days i cannot fathom it at all...the wish to recede...to retreat to darkest watery depths is my salvation.
i like the solitude in my head. i like the safety.
i have spent my whole life around people...with people...among other humans yet...somehow i manage to feel alone. and don't read too much into my words. this isn't a bad thing. at all. it just is. it isn't sad unless you put that meaning there upon it.
but of course...no man or woman is an island. so we reach out our tentacles to touch others. sometimes we touch lightly like a breeze...and sometimes we beat down the walls like some misguided warrior.
what is it that we want when we connect?
i have personally spent so many years with people who for whatever reason...were not able to connect that...quite frankly to this day....
i am surprised when someone answers back.
Come sit a spell and shoot the breeze. Sweeten the day with a little synchronicity...
12 comments:
HiMerelyme,
Iknowyourneedtotouhandtoonnnet.Thanksforomingtomysiteandleavingamessage.
Asyouanseethiskeyboardisnotworkingproperly.Hopeyoudon'tmind.
John
"i have personally spent so many years with people who for whatever reason...were not able to connect that...quite frankly to this day....
i am surprised when someone answers back."
I find that sad. We are social creatures. I find it easy to reach out and connect with bloggers. Probably why I am a dog person.
Blogpacks. Wanna be part of my blogpack?
Oh wait, you already are.
:o)>
Often I crave aloneness, I want to be quiet and left alone. When I'm teaching or performing, the intensity of the interaction can be exhausting and draining. However, it is also exhilirating and food for the soul.
One thing I've noticed in recent years is that I can't keep up with conversations in a large group any longer. If there is any background noise (which there always is), my brain becomes jumbled. Too often, by the time I've formed a complete thought the moment of appropriateness in the conversation has passed, leaving me basically 'talking' or 'thinking' to myself. The larger the group, the more isolated I become.
When communicating online, the noise of the crowd goes away. The ability to formulate thoughts returns, which in turn enables a dialogue not always available offline.
I think in a way we are all looking for connection, it's just the method which may vary. Keep talking, merelyme...I'm listening.
I can relate.
I am mildly reserved, low-key and often seen “hard to know” person. I do seek one-to-one friendship and small group of friends.I am known by my family and friends that I enjoy solitude quiet moments. I do enjoy sense of adventure of the unexpected and I enjoy being around people just to be "there" with them whether we talk or not.
I can relate also.
Many times, I thought to myself why I am exposing myself publicly and like you, I am surprise when people respond. I personally do not care if anyone comments to one of my post or not, but to the ones that do post and where I post, eventually it becomes my virtual friendship world. A person character shines from their words. I will have an interesting post up later today about blogging based on what happened yesterday morning and last night.
i concur with lisa's findings, guess aging has a lot to do with that...
give me a few close friends, and i'm happy; crowds, and their jumbled 'noise', over extended periods, turn me off, always have
keep writing, i'll keep reading... and adding my two cents' worth ;) lol
QUOTE LISA: One thing I've noticed in recent years is that I can't keep up with conversations in a large group any longer. END QUOTE
Yes, I've discovered this too, Lisa. I am not all that good one-to-one either. But, yes, blogging & forums are where I can get my head together.
I am thinking about you MM.
In a series of Wilbur Smith books, one English explorer and a native warrior would often greet each other with the words, "I see you." It was an aknowledgment that they saw in each other an understanding that was beyond words; there was a bonding connection there.
With some fellow bloggers it does at times seem silly, but I count them as friends...and to date, I've only met one out of many fellow bloggers. But to them, and you, I say, "I see you."
I crave companionship and company yet, at the same time, I need my solitude. Maybe I'm some sort of freak of nature.
"What is it we want when we connect?" you ask. I you can answer that you have solved one of the mysteries of the universe.
Yet, you're right. We do reach out, because to not reach out is to die inwardly.
Yet, what is it? Friendship? love? affection? sex? validation? combinations of any of the aforementioned?
I think many relationships fail because we are seeking something from somebody, but we don't know what it is, and then we feel dissatisfied and frustrated.
Obviously, dear, this was an intriguing posting on your part and opened me up to many realms of thought.
i'm always surprised when someone answers back. but i'm glad they do..:) like you..
Suprise!
I feel the same way. I love to see people and listen/ read their thoughts. And more--to understnad who they really are, not just what the words say. I like to understnad there innersleves and motives. I love people in spite of the reasons they often give me not to.
Glad to catch up with you, at least a bit.
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