How I choose my links

In my early days of blogging it was such a rush to receive comments that a lot of folks got caught up in the hooplah and found themselves entering the realm of becoming comment whores. I must say, that I too, was tempted to cross over to the superficial side of blogging.

"Comment whore"?

What's that you ask?

Here are some definitions. These first two are from the on-line urban dictionary.

DEFINITION ONE:
"1. comment whore
A person on Myspace, Friendster, Downelink, Melo, Livejournal, ect. Who IM's you every .5 seconds reminding you to comment on their new blog. Usualy resorts it people blocking you on AIM

Becky: I GOT NEW PICTURES! COMMENT!
Becky: I GOT A NEW BLOG COMMENT!
Becky: I GOT A NEW BRAIN! COMMENT!
Becky: I GOT A NEW FRIEND! COMMENT!
Becky: LOOK AT MY 15 YEAR OLD ASS ON MYSPACE AND COMMENT!
Becky: OMG LIKE MY NEW BLOG IS TOTALY HOT!
Becky: I POSTED A PICTURE COMMENT!
(Entire text above was sent in less than 5 seconds)
Chris: SHUT UP! *BLOCK*"

DEFINITION TWO also from the on-line urban dictionary:

"2. comment whore
1. On blogs, a person who posts something for the soul purpose of gaining comments (usually positive) from other users.

2. One who constantly desires coments on their blog or guestbook.

Carolyn, a well-known comment whore, always posts surveys for her friends to fill out."

Here is another meaning from Photo Wiki:

"Comment Whore
Someone who leaves comments on another blog just to get redirects, traffic and comments back on their own site. Comment whoring relies on the fact that photobloggers are, by their nature, friendly and polite and often reply personally and individually to all their comments.

There's a fine line between networking and comment whoring that every blogger must determine for themselves. Photoblog comment whores can often be recognized by their short and useless comments such as:

Nice shot/capture/image
Love your site
Comment whores often comment on the top 100 sites from photobloggers as a way to 'establish' themselves. They would spend their time better concentrating less on comments and more on their photography as a way to generate real hits."

And lastly here is a blog post about the matter in which one commenter declares that anyone who blogs is a comment whore of sorts.

http://brainyjane22.wordpress.com/2007/04/14/comment-horror-comment-whore/

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I kinda agree with the commenter who said that everyone who blogs has a bit of
"comment whore" in them. Otherwise...why would we be here writing in this format? Some writers do choose to be rather private but I think it is rare. We bloggers like/enjoy to be recognized and validated even with the simplest of gestures...a smiley face. Perhaps pathetic in some ways but true. But the other side of it, in my opinion, this greed for comments can go too far.

I am wary of those I deem to be comment whores just wanting to visit me in an attempt to gain more hits, comments, and popularity for themselves. Yet there are some comment whores who do have good content and go out of their way to show their love for the little people who created the monster.

I suppose I am most intolerant of those who write the worst of meaningless nonsense (I am reminded of a popular male comment whore who would post endlessly about his boners or lack of them) and generate these harems of female commenters who became on-line sycophants. The wikipedia definion of sycophant is: " A sycophant (Gr. συκοφάντης) is a servile person who, acting in their own self interest, attempts to win favor by flattering one or more influential people, with an undertone that this is at the cost of their own personal pride, principles, and peer respect."

My motto is...Be a Friend not a Sycophant!


Been blogging enough to realize that I have core ( although perhaps unrealistic) expectations of my visitors. I don't want a business transaction. I don't want superficial. I want substance! I want folks to come here to read me because they enjoy my writing and not solely because they want me to scratch their back in return.

On the other hand, I do believe in a little neighborliness. Coming to just say hello is always much appreciated. I like to do that for my frineds here...I might not always understand what you have written but I do want you to know that I had stopped by just to see how you are doing.

Now onto the matter of how I choose my links:

I am more selective and choosy nowadays about who I put in my link section. I must say...I am turned off by aggressive demands for me to put someone on my links just because they are demanding it. There is a certain etiquette in the blog world. And you do have to be careful of spammers and scammers. I personally like to take my time to get to know people and see what they are about first.

The way I am doing things now is if I see someone interesting, I place them in my New Blogs to Try section first. That way you all can go check them out as well. I try them out and if I really like what they are about...then they will go into my categories. For some folks hiding there, I truly do like their stuff...I just haven't gotten around to placing them in any category yet.

I weed my links periodically. Some folks will always stay just based upon their specialness to me.

The links I generally eliminate are for these reasons:

1. They are too much of a comment whore and have no integrity in what they are writing.

2. They are pushing religion or politics down our throats.

3. I find myself at a loss for how to comment on their posts...consistently. Some people...you just don't get.

4. Blogs which thrive on endless snarky comments. I'm sorry...I am not good at being an entertaining commenter.

5. People who write post after post of negative hateful diatribe. Hey...I am a depressive but there has to be some light somewhere.

6. Definitely can't deal with bigotry or bashing. I will not contribute to it.

7. I am sorry but I can't tolerate the baby or pet blogs suppsedly written by babies or pets. There is cute and then there is...get a life.

8. I am not overly fond of the folks who write exclusive monologues of the exact details of their day including names of people who we don't know and don't care about.

9. This reason is probably the biggest reason, sadly, that I will take someone off my links: they stop blogging or...they don't update in a very long time. I do like interaction so...if you haven't written in a month, I regretfully take you off unless you told people you were taking a hiatus. However, sometimes people have emergencies or computer glitches or need a little break (like me sometimes!) and you shouldn't give up on them until you really know for sure. Give us time...especially those of us with mood disorders who sometimes act unpredictably. :>)

10. I guess I need to make this an even number. I also don't normally keep blogs around which are...well...technically difficult for me to comment upon or else the site is so slow loading that it becomes frustrating for me.

This is a loooong ass post already so I will end things on a postive note. If you are here in my links it is most likely because of the following reasons:

1. You are fascinating, interesting, and/or fun.

2. You write well.

3. You take good photos.

4. You have integrity in your writing. You walk the walk. You have substance.

5. You write for a purpose...to heal...to help others....to educate and inform.

6. You are a survivor...you have strength...and I admire you.

7. You are a friend...you give support without wanting anything in return...you show true kindness to others.

8. You are funny and make me laugh.

9. You make me think about things in a different way.

10. When I visit your blog, I feel more at peace, happier, more joyful.

11. You have marvelous gifts and talents to share.

12. You have overcome obstacles and challenges in your life and you are not afraid to write about them.

13. You are humble and genuine.

14. You are artsy fartsy.

15. Your beauty, soul, and heart shine through in your writings.

And there you have it!