I once wrote just that..."My focus is my child" scribbled with pencil and put on the wall for all to see.
Having a child who has a disability usually means that you are encumbered with numerous professionals, therapists, and experts, all of whom usually do not agree on anything.
Following one day when the speech therapist began to argue with the teacher about the best methods to use with my child, I put up that sign.
Years later, I find the need to put that sign back on my wall or on my computer screen as a visible reminder of what is important to me.
I have little interest in the latest causes or politically correct postures. Yes I could potentially stand on a pulpit all day and preach about acceptance. But you see I am here in the trenches with my son each and every day. No time for soap boxes because I am fighting for him and for myself. Sometimes a good day means we have survived the day.
I don't wear a ribbon or have a puzzle piece icon on my car (the symbol for autism nowadays). I don't have a bumper sticker which says "I love someone with autism." But I do. My lack of bumper stickers and ribbons doesn't mean I love my son any less.
My son isn't a cause. He isn't a badge for me to wear. He isn't my weekend project. He isn't a research study. He isn't a means to garnish comments on a blog. And he certainly isn't a poster child for autism.
He is a kid. He is my son. And I love him.
My focus is my child.
Come sit a spell and shoot the breeze. Sweeten the day with a little synchronicity...
14 comments:
Saw your "GROAN" on my blog, decided to check out your space. Hope you realize it was just a few jokes sent to me by a friend, was bored and nothing to add so I printed the joke.
Anyhow, that must be extremely rough on each of you coping with all that. Good luck to you and your son.
I truly believe that you do love your son and your focus on him to have a wondeful quality of life. There are times when we deal with people who have their own agendas is what makes parents like us frustrated. We have a daughter who has major disabilities (cerbral palsy and mentally challenge). She is living with us because we want her to have the quality of life that she would not get elsewhere. We get her involved in social activities among her peers and still come home to live with us. She may be disabled but she is not disabled from enjoying life. Her life is enjoyable because we make life enjoyable around the house. We treat her like she is a normal child. Only God can heal her and we can't fix her. We will make sure she have the quality of life regardless. Like you and many parents around the blog, we are doing this for our child simply because we love them.
Sorry about my blog posts lately but I needed to vent.
Jim :)
oh i love your posts jim...hey we are all in this together. that is so right...our kids don't need fixing. what they need most are parents who love them and who will stand by them. you are a good dad jim...i have the utmost respect for you.
You are a lucky woman to have someone to focus your immense love on, and your son is lucky to have your love, as well as someone to receive his love.
It seems to me the most important thing a parent can do for the future of the world is to raise, as best she can, a child that is happy, feels loved, feels powerful in whichever ways he has power, and knows he is important. And the best we can ask ourselves is to try to lean toward that balance.
I think that journey is different for everyone, and only you and your child know what is working and what is not.
I'm glad we are all here on this blogosphere sharing ourSelves.
“My focus is my son!” I declared to the medical director of the local United Cerebral Palsy Center. “And he should be the common denominator of your focus, as well as that of his neurologist. I haven‘t the means, and my son hasn‘t the time for me to obtain schooling and expertise to render a judgment as to the best of avenues if therapy to follow. So, if you need a quarter to make a phone call to the neurologist and reach compromise that will benefit my son … here!” And I handed him a quarter. All in the examination theater sat in hushed terror. No one EVER spoke that way to this eminent physician. Amazing!
The only one in the room who was not awed … not interested in the warring opinions of two doctors who had professional differences in therapy methods … not concerned with the professional, clinical, or political squabbling of the parties vying for control … was that four-year old, trusting, confused, frightened, innocent little boy , who just wanted to be … a little boy. My focus … my son.
Thank you for reminding me of that moment. Fight the fight! I am in your son’s corner with you.
That is so awesome and your love as a mom shines through.
Actually, I just signed up for an Internship to work with children with autism. I supposedely got the intern, but just waiting for them to call to set me up with a family :)
I am so excited!
Kudos to you.
"Sometimes a good day means we have survived the day. "
Ikwym!! I have 4 kids , 2 have A.S. Some days are wonderful and quirky and some days are very difficult.
Best wishes to you and yours
thanks so much for your comments guys. it has been a rough day here for me. my son's aide who comes a couple of evenings a week just told me tonight she is quitting. i just had joined a gym so i could get out of this house some and now...well...i might as well forget it. i am just...so sad.
hey amanda...we had met before...send me an email...and i can invite you to my private blog.
I typed a whole response, then my connection went down again. Just imagine some really cool stuff I said.
Hi Merelyme, it is encouraging to read of your love for your son. I have worked with 3 child psychologists in the past where they helped children with special needs such as those having autism, dyslexia, speech delay, etc. Children with special needs are special children who are gifted in their own ways and most of them are very lovable and sincere. Family love and support make a great difference in their life. Hope you find a suitable baby sitter. It's good to join a gym for regular exercise to help you cope with the stress as well as provide some respite, if you can. Take good care. Regards, Nancie
Marvelous sentiment! God bless you. Thanks for visiting my place. I'll be reading more here, for sure.
I think you'r son's blessed to have you for his mother.
Beautiful!
Miss Chris is right, your son is lucky to have you as a Mom.
What a truly wonderful post! It made me cry!
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