Here we are at day four of taking prozac.
and...i feel normal. normal as in low energy and a tad irritable self. today it feels like i haven't taken anything. yesterday i could feel something happening with my mood but not today. i feel like cinderella...after midnight. back to this again.
it is so hard to figure this stuff out as i have my moods and cycles of moods and i also have the MS doing things...and then you add a medication. which is what? we don't know i guess until time has passed.
it is only day four..i know it sometimes takes weeks for any big changes to happen.
more than a few people have asked me why i am doing this finally. i am now 43 years old...i have lived with my depression all of these years without benefit of any meds. this was HUGE for me to finally do this.
part of my reason was the MS. i have read research which shows that prozac may help with multiple sclerosis in delaying having more lesions. i will find that research for another post. also i have read and my neurologist told me that it can help with the fatigue of MS. don't take what i say here though as cold hard facts...please always research for yourself and ask your doctor. i am just reporting what i have read and what my neurologist has told me.
the other reason for my wanting to take something was an increase in the fluctuations in my moods possibly caused by the MS. it seems to be causing me to have more moods if that is possible. my lows were coming faster and i was sinking more. i want to do better...feel better...and be there for my family. it is time to take more responsibility for my mental health.
And lastly...my youngest son who has autism is now taking Prozac. this too was a gut wrenching decision. he is nearing adolescence and his moods were becoming debilitating for him...horrible bouts of crying upon awakening for no apparent reason and phobias so strong that he didn't want to leave the house. saw a neurologist who recommended prozac and...by golly it works for him. does it make everything all better? hell no. there are still many challenges but at least he is not suffering as he did. seeing him go through this process...i wanted to go through it with him. my neurologist told me that if one person in the family does well with a medication such as prozac...there is a good chance that another family member will too. makes sense...as we share some of the same genes.
and it is just time. i wanted to at least try this option. it is no panacea...no cure...no miracle i am sure. just a tool to help me so i can function better. i hate pills. i really do. i am not one at all...by any stretch of the imagination...to jump at the chance to take a pill. more than anything i wish to be normal...feel normal...but i am the way i am.
such a stigma still about mental illness. and it makes me pissed off. clinical depression is a biological disease...just like diabetes...or any other chronic physical disease. having a mood disorder isn't a character flaw. it isn't something you just snap out of. i want to keep saying these things...to educate...to inform. someone you know may suffer from clinical depression. it may be you.
i will give you more updates as the days pass...
Come sit a spell and shoot the breeze. Sweeten the day with a little synchronicity...
9 comments:
(((HUGS)))
You are in my thoughts.
Big hugs! Give it time.
I have known life without anti-depressants and life with. I'll take with, thank you very much.
One thing I noticed after starting Copaxone was moodiness tied to my cycles. Not one to have experienced full PMS symptoms (other than a burning desire for chocolate and a ravenous, empty pit of a stomach for a few days), it took a few months to realize that this extra moodiness and crankiness was likely PMS, not MS, not depression creeping up, not emotions dealing with the diagnosis.
Fortunately, a slightly increased dose of my anti-depressant of choice helped to curb the intensity of these cycles.
If at all possible, try not to judge each day where you are at. In my experience, it is the subtle moment when I realize that the sunshine is beaming through the windows, and the clouds have lifted, and the freshness of life has sprung, that I realize just how dark the storm was and wonder how I didn't see it coming until it had pressed down upon me so fiercely.
Perhaps the day will come when you don't even think about the depression, and then you will know that it has retreated...at least for now and hopefully for longer.
I agree with what Lisa says about trying not to judge each day, but the bigger picture. As someone who has studied and worked with psychotropic pharmacology for the past 22 years, I can say it is important to cut yourself some slack during these three weeks as your body adjusts to the medication...in whatever way it sees fit. You are the only expert about YOUR body and what it may or may not need...and it WILL tell you, sometimes quietly and sometimes not so subtle.
Hang in there...
Linda D. in Seattle
I hate pills too and like Lisa said, I always look at the big picture and the possibilities. :)
It's frustrating to wait for a medication to fully do it's thing, I've tried and failed with so many of them.
But as Lisa said, in time it will work or if not then you will know to move on to another anti-depressant. I went through many A.D.'s before I found Lexapro.
I'm so glad that your son is getting some relief!! In turn I can tell that it gives YOU some much needed relief as well.
(((HUGS)))
All antidepressents take 3 months to really work, so I heard recently anyway.
there's been some interesting debate this week on this topic prompted by a recent report saying they don't work. I have no experience but I know they really helped my brother through a bad patch as his marriage broke down.
Look at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7263494.stm
I echo the sentiments already here....and you said it yourself - it's a tool! Did you know that depression can be a symptom of MS? There's so much going on in our brain with all the inflammation, that chemical changes are bound to happen. consider it a Tylenol for your mind.
S.
I missed any earlier posts about depression medication - I spose this study has already come up? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7263494.stm
You should try AD for at least 6 weeks, some start to work after 3 months, regards Dr Shock
P.S. like your blog
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