i'm feeling a bit sad today. it has been awhile. and that break from melancholy is quite remarkable for me. i want to write about moods. they affect us all. multiple sclerosis seems to magnify moods.
depression is such a paplable entity. it is real. it is physical. you feel it manifest not just in your head but in your body. i feel it as a lack of energy. i wonder sometimes if the tiredness precedes the mood or vice versa. a human being is such a complex organism of systems all attempting to cohabitate in one body. it is more than impossible to unravel any one cause for changes in mood or mind state.
like i said, i want to talk about this sort of thing. it is important for people to know that different mind states, including depression, are just part of being human. we can't be happy all the time. why should that be the goal? the ability to accept the full range of emotion is a fundamental part of growth. we can't grow if we are always fighting what is. that energy could be better spent elsewhere.
pain, whether it be physical or emotional is an indicator that we need to pay attention. we need to become better attuned to our bodies, our minds, and our environment. pain is a message that we need to change. maybe it means we need to rest...or see a doctor...or talk to a friend. pain should not be dismissed as a mere hindrance to the status quo. pain reminds us that there is no status quo.
we are ever evolving creatures, fluid and dynamic. feeling less than desirable feelings, including sadness, is just all part of the process.
Come sit a spell and shoot the breeze. Sweeten the day with a little synchronicity...
8 comments:
oh dear so much here that resonates!
I believe that as we grow older our desire for happiness grows stronger. We have passed through the periods of our life where we could rationalise and face the unhappy times but move into times when we believe we now deserve better as a reward for the passage of time.
"pain, whether it be physical or emotional"
Research has shown that pain that does not originate from the physical senses is just as damaging and detrimental ... more so when there is no eventual relief.
Hang in there dear lady - you know you are not alone in this and that you are much loved
XXXX
That is a very perceptive post. I found when I was feeling depressed about two years ago that writing about was one of the best things I could have done. It gets it out there and is very cathartic.
I'm pleased to see that you know it is all part of a process. It's when you can't see the woods for the trees that you have to worry.
By the way those photos were lovely. Keep that feling inside you.
Take care
MB
How did you get so wise? You are new at this MS Stuff.
Ups and downs are all part of life..the contrasts are necessary. But with a diagnosis of MS, and even more uncertainty, it is magnified. Writing is good therapy..work through it. (you write beautifuly) Talking to supportive family and friends is good too. If you stay down too long...don't be afraid to see someone for it. I've had to before, and it helped me get back on track.
Good post and often depression does precede fatigue or at least they run jointly together.
I am no expert on handling depression but I have been working on my mood swings lately such that I feel I amy comment helpfully here.
I have found that the depression of MS that appears from nowhere and then leaves as suddenly is often a heartfelt call from the body for slow-time, me-time, rest-time, please-spoil-me time. At first, the MSer has to learn to listen to this call. Then those close by, the carers, must also learn to spot the signs. With me, Pete says it's in my eyes as well as the flushing on my face, both of which signify a need to take it very easy. How I feel becomes an SOS call when I do not listen to those first signs.
We have to rest both body and mind. I can testify this works. But, here's the thing, it has taken me 11 years since I was diagnosed to put this into regular effective practice - mainly because I now live with a loving selfless man.
I've also learned to listen to my body when the high swings into place - then, be wary, there is a danger of overdoing things, of not resting the physical body and the brain enough. It is so lovely to feel able to do so much more than when low but we have to be careful.
I DO NOT think these stategies necessarily work with someone suffering from long term clinical depression - that is an entirely different thing. That type of depression can also arise in someone who has MS, of course, and I wonder then if it is circumstatial, the result of having MS rather than the MS itself but I cannot be sure and would not wish to seem judgmental.
Bless you for being so open and so kind.
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