Last Sunday's entry

Just woke up and I am finding that my left eye is a bit blurry. My eye itself has been aching for several days. The thing is that I went to the opathamologist upon recommendation from my doctor as I was experiencing some weird symptoms in that eye. What symptoms you ask? I am getting these flashes of light and a floater in the center....like a dark ring. Of course I thought I was going nuts with all this stuff. While I was at the eye doctor he dialated my eyes but didn't find inflammation. This turned out to be odd as the MRI clearly showed my doctor that my left eye was showing definite inflammation. The MRI was two days later...perhaps that was all it took. In fact the eye doctor told me that with MS...symptoms can come on so rapidly and progress that it is sometimes hard to catch them right when you do come for a visit. I am kinda bummed that the eye doc didn't find it because maybe he could have given me some medication. Now my eye hurts and is quite blurry with a little blind spot.

Okay...let me backtrack and give you a little history.

About ten years ago when I was 32 I had my first experience with all of this. At that time I had just given up my job to stay home with my two baby boys who were fifteen months apart. So I was pretty darn busy. But one day I felt weird. I felt dizzy like and I began to lose sight in this same left eye. Things began to dim and narrow and I had a growing blind spot. I had never experienced anything like it and I was scared to say the least.

I went to the doctor who was an alarmist. I pressed for information about what this could be. This woman told me it was very serious and could be a brain tumor or other horrible possibilities including MS. I think my mind only heard the brain tumor part. She hooked me up to get an MRI the next day. I remember that evening going home and thinking that I was going to die. I was so scared I just wanted to be by myself but that is not possible with two babies!

The following day I had my MRI. I was so anxious they gave me valium beforehand. It didn't help. It was fortunate that the neurologist was right there on hand and....we pressed for him to tell us the results. There was no way in hell I was going to go home and wait. A little elderly doctor invited us in his office and he told me that I had an inflammation of the optical chord.....that I had a virus and that I would be given medicine and it would all be better in several weeks. I was tremendously relieved of course but I still grilled him. "So no brain tumor...no chance of having MS" He smiled and shook his head no and told me, "You have a beautiful brain."

I went home like a wet wash rag. I was so emotionally spent but relieved. And like he said...the eye did get better. I still retained the blind spot but my eyes compensated so I stopped noticing it.

Fast forward ten years and....yes I am noticing my left eye now! I want to go back and wring that little old doctor's neck! But I am convinced that he probabaly didn't know. Multiple Sclerosis is such a tricky devil to diagnose.

The synchronicity part of my story is that I was given so many warnings of what was to come before I had any symptoms at all. I believe these warnings have saved me. I am catching this thing right as it starts. If I didn't believe in God before (I did actually but hypothetically), I do now. Maybe even angels exist. Who knows? But something is going on.

I have much to say about synchronicity. It has been one predominant theme in my life. If there is one thing I would like to pass on to people with whatever you are currently dealing with, it is to be open to listening. Be open to knowing things even when you don't particularly want to know them. Someday it just may save your life.