Hi guys
I wanted to talk about a neurological experience I had over the weekend. My son had some friends over to try out our new Wii fit game. This will be the topic of another post. So his friends took turns running in place as part of the game. The noise was loud but not too loud. But for some reason that sound made my neurological symptoms go awry in an awful horrible way.
Upon hearing that thundering repetitive sound of feet running overhead, I began to feel true panic. I have had a few panic attacks in my day usually from a thought in my head. I have felt fear while in crowded places like a wave pool or crowded supermarket. Gee...now my fear doesn't seeem so irrational based upon what happened to that poor worker who was trampled at Wall Mart in New York. That is probably my worst nightmare. Anyways...this one was was bad and immediate.
I began to see flashing lights in my periphery (usually this is an aura that I will have MS symptoms). I felt frozen in fear and could barely talk. My flight instinct kicked in and when I was able, I darted to my bathroom and closed the door and began to cry because I couldn't stand the feelings I was experiencing. And then my right side began to convulse.
When I asked my friend about this...she has three kids who have epilepsy...she told me this was totally understandable as her kids have a reaction to both visual and auditory stimulation which is repetitive.
Then when I was in Wallmart of all places (I simply have to avoid this place completely) the lights there which flash repetitively at the check outs...almost sent me into having an episode.
Definitely something neurological is taking place. Not sure what to call it but it is no fun when it happens. And the panic I felt was absolutely horrible. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
Always something new and fun to deal with!
On a completely different note...
I treated myself to an early Christmas present. I bought new karaoke songs on-line. I have a thing for karaoke. And I love to collect the music. For like fifty bucks I bought a collection with 2002 songs. That's right...two thousand and two songs! I was very excited. I now have everything from Cabaret to Suffragette City.
What present would you like to buy for yourself? Go ahead...you deserve it! hee hee!
And now...writing links:
I was asked to write a post about the organization called Embrace with Grace whose mission is to get people discussing a very difficult topic. The topic is end of life wishes. I must say...it was very difficult for me too but I finally did do it. With kids and all it is the responsible thing to do. Anyways...you can read my post about how to initate such a conversation here.
And you simply must check out our Nadja in her interview for Health Central! She did a fabulous job I must say. Come check her out here.
Lastly I want to tell you that I will be coming by to visit your blogs and leave kaboodles of comments! Or at least that is my plan. Please forgive me for not coming by more often. I want to definitely make it up to you.
Come sit a spell and shoot the breeze. Sweeten the day with a little synchronicity...
16 comments:
Hey,Happy Holidays to you!
You look the perfect Santa's helper. :) You even changed the shade of green on the sidebar. Or is it just me?
Sorry to hear of these latest problems. I used to hide from my older brothers in the bathroom. Sanctuary is where you can find it.
I really enjoy your interviews, just one amazing person after another.
Hey! You changed the colors! Scratch my last comment on the sidebar, it looks red now. :) I gotta lay off the wine.
rats d, sorry you found a new trigger
grats on the 2002 songs!
i gifted myself with a new, loaded-to-the-nuts 24" imac... cuz i deserve it! ;) lol
all the best to you and yours, m'dear
That attack sounds quite frightening. I suffer from occular migraines and I get those auras as part of it. Sometimes I'll get a touch of anxiety with it, but nothing like you described.
There are several things I would buy, one of which is a new phone. Maybe something in a Blackberry.
That must be very frightening. I've come close to panic attacks a couple of times, usually triggered by too much caffiene in association with stress. But once I realize what is happening I can usually block it.
Hi!
Have you considered cognitive therapy ? My girlfriend use to have the worst panic attacks. Everything: small spaces, wide open spaces, crowds, being alone, the dark,you name it. She went for therapy were they teach you to calm the anxiety.
She's not perfect but much better than she use to be.
I'm thinking of getting myself a a pink camera or pink laptop, even though I don't need these things I just want something pink.
I decided a long time ago that it was foolish not to have both a living will, and a regular will. I probably formed that opinion right after diagnoses, much the way many of us probably do. Well, that was 21 years ago on Halloween and still have done neither! Isn't there a road somewhere paved with good intentions?
Is there an actual connection between environmental sensitivity and MS? I am environmentally sensitive and have the same reaction to consistent noise.. especially repetitive - but do not have MS.
It sounds awful! Wishing you peace....
~Chani
Hey there. Long time no read! I did not know about the repetitive sound as a trigger for seizures, but did know about strobe lights. Gee, how scary and irritating, can't even play a Wii game without being struck by unpleasant symptoms!
If I were to buy myself something, right now it would be a new wardrobe. My closet is starting to resemble Carol Burnet's character, the lady with the mop? Not kidding.
Sweet Pea~
I am sound and light sensitive myself. I have written posts on my blog about awful supermarket music! At this time of year, though, serious measures are in order.
I tried various ear plugs, to stem the relentless Christmas "music", to no avail. But there is hope for you, my sweet.
If yo go to Lowes/Home Depot, they have a "safety" department, with glasses, goggles, ear plugs by the 100 count and so much more. What you want are the big arse yellow Mickey Mouse type ear protection.
They have a radio already installed, and you can plug in your MP3 player (whateverthefuck that is) and hear not much else. They run around fifty bucks, but they have saved my life.
Mine are actually lying right by me as I write, because I've left work for a few days. I listen to NPR as I seal up the house for the winter.
Nothing like shutting out noise and letting in knowledge. My understanding is that say if you record a book on tape, you could play it through these fat mamas.
Or listen to tapes that make you realize what a truly wonderful, caring, compassionate and lovely woman you are.
*hugs*
Dazzling lights and extraneous noise can be upseting. I don't get panic attacks but they do seem to trigger migraines... the brain wiring is mysterious indeed...
sorry you are having these neurological episodes. our bodies do take us on such journeys.
btw - re: karaoke -- have you seen the movie Duets?
I’m sorry you had those episodes. I have to say I never feel too good in Walmart’s without a neurological reason. It’s just too much stimulation. A present for myself would be a good book. Maybe Toni Morrison’s latest, Mercy.
I have had panic attacks before. It's not pleasant, to say the least. But I also used to go to concerts and everything, crowds aren't the concern; sometimes we ourselves are the architect of panic attacks. Does it help knowing this? That's debatable...
But you should both remember and be secure in the knowledge that you are a vibrant being with ideas and hopes and all the other wondrous intangibles and nuances of life.
But the crowd thing, I do understand that feeling as well. I was almost trampled at a heavy metal concert once and got out by a miracle! I should be bothered by crowds, at least to show some learned survival response. But I do tend to avoid that kind of thing more often so maybe I have learned from it.
Panic attacks suck. I think they can account for any variety of strange symptoms, some that mimic MS. I had a small one this morning for no apparent reason.
Thanks for the interview. I enjoyed doing it a lot.
I'm very sound sensitive too, so much so that I've had definite twitches and spasms in response to loud sounds.
Then there's the sensitivity to too much stimuli which makes my brain just seem to shut down. I get to where I can't think or talk, everything kinda freezes and doesn't work.
This week there was a coordinated effort by many health bloggers discussing the Embrace with Grace group. I first learned of it after the Health 2.0 conference Oct 21-22.
I had planned to write about it for MS Central tomorrow, but you've already done such a good job. It would be different, but I don't know....
Post a Comment